ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
