If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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