Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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