So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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