my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i was born a porn star she said
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
