everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
