You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
