My Higher Power is John Stamos
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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