Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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