Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
