i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize