dude i'm inner monologue high
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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