the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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