We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize