Non-Jews are for practice
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
