There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
