): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
