I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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