did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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