i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
