Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
