better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
