the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
no more duck duck goose at the bar
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
