I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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