My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
