I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize