a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
