Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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