I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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