Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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