Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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