That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
