so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
