I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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