i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
