stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
