Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
