I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
