After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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