Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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