Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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