Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
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