You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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