the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
