Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
