There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
