We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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