I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
