actually, I'm a sock model
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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