White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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