Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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