I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
