I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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