YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
