i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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