she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
