I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
