She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
