So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm passing your future prison.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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