I can tuck mytits in my pants
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
