We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
