so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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