All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think my mom watched the whole time
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
