i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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