She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize