I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
