Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
