Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
