I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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