how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you told grandpa to call you daddy
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize