You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
