he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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