Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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